Silent Poetry Day

t's Blogger (Silent) Poetry Reading day! I heard about it from Cara and she heard about it from this blog. So, here is an original Kim.

Emma

I lay her down, she laughs, she cries
she knows what is coming
I lie down and offer my breast
she grabs it and smiles.
Here comes the milk,
drink up my baby!
I look at her face
so sweet, so innocent.
Rosy cheeks, tousled hair,
little bit of me,
and a lot of Jer.
She is my world,
she is my joy,
I can't believe I wanted a boy!
I love her dearly
and pray
she will be happy, hopeful and
know she is loved, everyday.
Goodnight my Angel
Sleep tight my love
I'll be here all night
So if you wake up, and get scared
or hungry,
roll over, I'll be here for you
always.
Goodnight my Angel
Mommy loves you.

Written August 3, 2003, 20 days before Emma died. I find that so ironic, it was not long at all before she left me. This just gives you a glimpse of my feelings for her. I've been thinking of this poem a lot lately, as Amelia is doing much the same things Emma was when she died. She is crawling, playing with toys, and playing with me just like Emma did. It is hard for me, daily, not to call her Emma. I catch myself everyday.

Seth is sick. It came on very suddenly. His friend, Aurora, has been over all day. They left and he wanted a snack. I gave him some pudding and he didn't want it. That should have been a clue, but it wasn't. Then he wanted spaghetti. I gave him that and he barely touched it. Again, this should have given me some inkling that something was wrong. It wasn't until he was sitting with me, asleep, that he threw up everywhere. That was my clue. Sometimes we need to be smacked in the face (or puked on) to realize when something isn't right. Ugh. I hate when he doesn't feel good. It is the worst. My poor little bub.