Another One!

I have wanted to try a Beco Carrier for ages, now I just might have my chance...or maybe you'll have your chance :)
Win a Beco Butterfly Baby Carrier and Beco Toy Carrier from Along for the Ride.

Awesome Contest!

You all know I love to try to win things, and now I want you to try to win it too!!!
Win a $250 Speesees organic cotton baby or toddler wardrobe from Nature's Child - Wholesome Goods for Mothers and Babies

Go enter and good luck!!! :D

5 Years

I can not believe it has been 5 years since I last held my sweet Emma. I am not going to write about her last day today, or do a picture montage as I have in the past, if you want to see that, go here. Today, I am just going to share video of her. These two videos were taken the week that she died. One was on Wednesday and the other on Friday. I always hate that it ends, but I love that I have it.

I miss you Em. I wonder everyday what you'd be like. I look forward to the day when I can see you again. I miss you, and love you more than you will ever know.

Love, Mama.

This Week

Is not a fun one at my house. 5 years ago this week (Saturday to be exact) Emma died. I won't be here much. I'm trying to figure out what to do for her tribute this year. Typically I do a photo montage set to music, but I might just have J put some video on the computer and share her, living, breathing, HER with you all. If you're the praying type, pray for us this week. If you're not the praying type, just send us lots of good vibes. We can use all we can get.

Remember Who They Are

This is my new mantra. Yesterday was a particularly difficult day. I don't spank, I don't hit, I don't verbally belittle my children...but I do yell. Yesterday I yelled a lot. It didn't matter what they did, it made me angry. I don't know why, maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the pregnancy, but I think it was me being selfish. I wanted to do what I wanted to do and Mothering wasn't on that list.

They were just being kids. They were being really good at being 2 and 4 and I had no patience for it. Several times yesterday, S told me to be nice. We were in the back yard last night and they got into the mud. Normally I would say GREAT! Get really dirty, then we'll have a shower and get you cleaned up. However, instead, I went ballistic! I was SO angry with them for getting dirty. I put them both in the bath, washed them, and got them out. When I walked into S's room, he was holding a picture of Jesus that hangs on his door. He was holding it, sitting on his floor in his towel, and saying "Please help my Mom to be nice. Please help me". It broke my heart. Seriously, I have never felt more guilt in my life.

Immediately, my heart softened and I scooped this sweet 4 year old boy into my arms and we both cried. I remembered who they are. They are children. They are children of God, the ones that have been entrusted to me to raise and to love and to take care of.

So, back to my new mantra - Remember Who They Are - they are children of God. How would I feel if someone treated them the way I did? I would be downright angry.

So today, no matter how hot, tired, impatient, and frustrated I am, I will not take it out on them. They are just too sweet, and too small for too short of time...and we never know how long we'll get them for.